Monday, June 30, 2008

6-30-08

Well, I got sick on Wednesday and by Sunday, Fay dragged me to the hospital. Yeah, I was not doing good at all. But I am really stubborn and don’t care for hospitals. I figure they’ll just name the illness, but can rarely do much to help especially with things like flus. Plus, hospitals are different in Cambodia and I’d rather lay in bed suffering than have a non-English speaker stabbing with needles unable to explain what they’re doing. She convinced me to go because there is a new hospital nearby that looked reliable.
It was clean, most people spoke some English, and I felt ok there. I described my symptoms. They took my vitals. They did a blood test. I had a low white blood cell count, so apparently that shows a viral infection. Again, they named it. But I guess the doctor did tell me everything I was taking was outdated and probably doing me no good. So as I proudly brought forth my pharmacy of pills I was sure were helping me, he told me to stop taking all of them! He gave me some simple electrolytes, nausea/vomiting pills, and Tylenol. I’m feeling better this morning. But here is we both missed since Wednesday.
I laid at home on Thursday trying to conserve energy for the last day of school on Friday. I was still feeling awful, awful Friday morning, but knew I had to go because it was the last day I’d see some of my kids again. As soon as I got there all the teachers were saying, “Ughh, you look horrible! You should go home and rest.” I said ‘thankyou’ and trudged on through the day. My kids definitely noticed I was not myself. The last day was just partying and games anyway. So I set them loose and they were happy anyway. But mid-morning, I was dizzy and made my way to the library where I proceeded to fall asleep for the next hour. When I woke up there were a few notes and cards scattered around me and school was out. My kids were gone.
I cleaned out my desk and caught a ride home with Fay. I got home and slept for 5 hours. Then I went to bed, ya know, like at night, when people are supposed to sleep.
I woke up on Saturday morning, wanting to go to church, but couldn’t make it. I slept for 6 hours straight, getting up only to vomit. Then, it was nighttime so I went to sleep.
Sunday morning was graduation. I really wanted to go because any of the kids I missed on Friday would be there. So I drug myself to school and sat through most of the service until Kagna said, “Ms.Bo, let’s go.” She didn’t even ask. She took me by the arm, got me a pillow, and acted as my personal fan as I feel asleep in the picnic area. After awhile, I knew my presence at graduation was quite pointless, so I opted to go home. Upon arriving home, I feel asleep for 4 hours, and this is when Fay took me to the hospital.
I was so bummed I had to get some “viral infection” the last weekend I was here. I missed out on quite a bit. My girls wanted to hang out, I couldn’t. The teachers got together for lunch, I couldn’t. And I suddenly found myself crazing really greasy food, I knew I couldn’t eat, and wouldn’t normally eat anyway, just to add to the frustration! The goodbyes were not what I had hoped for, but I’ve said everything I wanted my kids to know. I have no regrets.
I’ve been living on 7up and Ramen noodles, when they stay down. I’ve been thinking about tragically dying my last few days in Cambodia, and it doesn’t help when everyone is joking about it too, “Wouldn’t it be sad if we had to call Heather’s parents and tell them Cambodia finally killed her?” Umm, yes! Please, I just want to come home!
But I write on Monday June 30th, 2008 and I am almost, no wait, 100% positive, I am going home tomorrow! The pain isn’t so bad today. I am finishing up my packing, laundry, and tonight I’m going out for dinner, or watching a few friends eat dinner! Either way, it’ll be good to say goodbye.
Tomorrow morning, I’m walking out the door, and braving the street for the last time. Locking up my bike for the last time. Driving past the school for the last time. Haggling with Khmers for the last time. I’m leaving Cambodia. For the last time? Who knows?
Really, what was I thinking coming to Cambodia? I had no idea what I was going to face. I guess it is that ‘ignorance is bliss’ factor that gets us to do almost anything. Sorting through all the mail I’ve gotten since I’ve been here, it all says, “Cambodia”. Which I know is a country, in southeast Asia, on the other side of the world from home. So I am pretty darn sure, that’s where I am at! I don’t see how the mail seems to so effortlessly arrive here, because my arrival here was much bumpier. And now that I’m ok, with some ground to stand on, I’m coming home.
I am no longer ignorant in thinking, “Give me one year with someone, I’ll have ‘em all figured out!” How silly was that? Oh the things I have yet to learn! I’m putting my hiking boots on; I’m ready to continue the journey.
Bethany Dillon wrote these words,
“Lead me on. Lead me on. To a place where the river runs into your keeping.
Lead me on. Lead me on. Lead where the deliverance comforts the seeking.”

I’m seeking.


I'll be home soon. Mom and Dad, I got copies of my blood tests for you. Oh, and if you "forget" to pick me up at the airport, I'll never, ever forgive you!

Ever.

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