Monday, February 9, 2009

Mad

I'm mad that I ate that pizza.

I'm mad that I put butter on that bread.

I'm mad that I ate that cookie.

I'm mad that instead of getting homework done when my 7:30 a.m. class was canceled, I slept in.

I'm mad that I forgot about my grammar and linguistics quiz.

I'm mad that it seems no matter what I eat, it makes me nauseous, still.

I'm mad that I don't read more.

I'm mad that I let my teacher make me cry.

I'm mad that I didn't exercise on Friday.

I'm mad that I don't like the way I look.

I'm mad that I tear myself apart at minor grievances.

I'm mad that my expectations for myself are so high, I rarely succeed.

I'm mad that I don't have time to play piano or guitar or write down the music that's bouncing around in my head.

I'm mad that I don't feel good enough.

I'm mad that I don't know my grandparents.

I'm mad that Jeremy is in Tennessee and not here with me.

I'm mad about the chips I ate last night.

I'm mad at my lack of confidence.

I'm mad that I wanted to throw up last night.

I'm mad that many people hear "eating disorder" and think "conceited".

I'm mad that this ED is still a part of my life.

I'm mad that I'm feeling low right now, and even though I know it won't last forever, I can't just stop feeling this way.

I'm mad that I'm writing a blog about this, because I'll probably be feeling better in a few days, then be mad that I'm so flaky.





I think I have some anger to feel with: rational, irrational, or otherwise.

1 comments:

caitlyn brianne said...

it's ok to be mad heather. i admire you for writing when you are. i admire you for all the courage you have. i check your blog everyday and wonder why i don't write what i am feeling as honestly as you do. you help me heather, you have no idea how much.