Saturday, February 14, 2009


There are few feelings that compare to reaching the last few pages of a book, anticipating its end, laying eyes on the last few words, and closing the book, and putting bookmark aside, ready for the next.

Now, this feeling doesn't find me often because I'm really not the bookworm I wish I was. But I'm trying, Mr. Blake is helping. He assigns me books to read then bugs me when I haven't been reading them.

I'm very unlikely to just pick out a book on my own, that I've never heard of and risk it being crap. So I listen to other people and the books they enjoyed.

I just finished Plainsong. No really, I just read the last page. I'm proud of myself for reading all 301 pages, and it only took me a week.

Set in a small, farming town in eastern Colorado, it speaks of humanity and the every day that compiles a life.

Having grown up in a safe, religious environment, I am still amazed at the lives some people lead.

A new friend tells me about being molested as a child, her father's adultery, and contemplating eloping.

On the news yesterday, a report on sex slavery in the United States. Thousands of children being coerced out of safety to the sad reality of selfish, sickening people who use them for pleasure.

Anna's dad is on marriage number five.

He watched his mother beaten to death by his father.

Another friend was threatened that if she ever told, he'd kill her.

Genital mutilation, unwanted arranged marriages, fear.

Helplessness eludes me, again. I'm not doing enough. What am I doing in college when the world is suffering? How is the knowledge of adjectives and sentence fragments going to matter to anyone, ever? I'm saddened by how much needs to be done, and how little is being done. What can I do? How will I ever get through the next 3 years of college?

How will I ever do enough?


Katelyn said...

Every time I get overwhelmed with all that is around me, my mom never fails to remind me to "see the forest for the trees." She kept reminding me to just work with the few trees I had in front of me. And, as I kept walking, I would slowly make my way through the forest.