Wednesday, April 1, 2009

It's just been One of these days

It's just been One of these days.

One of these days when you gain a flicker of perspective just by waking up in the morning. One of these days when you can breathe, the anxiety of the past doesn't seem quite as heavy and unbearable, and you try again. One of these days where you vow to just, show up for life, because sometimes, it's all you can do.

So I prayed, "A new day. Thank you."

And I journaled, "Again, without notice, I sprung to life at the beeps of my alarm moving, breathing, living. Yesterday was just one of those days, but today will be one of these days:
-a day of deep, cleansing breaths
-a day of water and nourishment
-a day of gratitude and awareness
-a day of wonderful people and opportunity
-a day of movement, playfulness, and dance
-a day of all the good that does reside inside of me, but too often gets shoved aside by deadlines, tasks, comparing myself to others, and self-hatred."

Arriving in class at 7:30am, M.J. Sclerosis patted me on the shoulder, on the shoulder! Ya know like you would someone you can tolerate, or at the least someone you are warning of things to come, either way. The girl sitting next to me looked shock at his sudden endearment towards me, motioned a 2-thumbs up, and mouthed, He likes you. Then, get this, he moved a large assignment from Friday to Wednesday. Wednesday!

Next class, same teacher, I am informed that the humongous project I have due on Friday, which originally involved a 20-minute Power point presentation and 8-page paper about Ellen White, using at least 7 of her books, has magically been downsized to ONLY the Power point presentation. Ha, easy, shmeezy!

It occurred to me that the weight of the world did not seem to be pounding me into the ground like a tent stake anymore, just from the lightening of my class load. It does not take a high school diploma to realize that, when I am overwhelmed or frustrated by some aspect of life, I immediately start recollecting all the things, even minutely difficult to add to my list of woes. I sort of bury myself in junk to make my seemingly huge problem have some company, or something.

It's been one of these days. The kind of day when you see more clearly, when you forgive yourself more quickly, you feel like time is your friend, and walk slower. It's been one of these days when life looks manageable, I can see the (temporary) end in sight, hope showers on me like a garden hose spray in the summer, breathing takes less effort, and a smile creeps on to my face.

Aww, one of these days.


Hannah said...

I love this :-) Even though I'm having one of THOSE days, I'm incrediby glad you are having one of THESE days.