Friday, September 25, 2009

Dear Child 2

Dear Child,

We've been here before.
Remember 3 weeks ago, when the weight of the world was too much bear and you crumbled? Remember 2 months ago. Remember 3 months ago. Remember...remember?
This is not about crumbling, this is re-building.
This is not about failure, it's about standing back up.
This is not about keeping score, it's about learning from the past.
You like lists. Let's make a list of all the events of yesterday that are not failure:
-waking up tired and sleepy
-teaching a scattered Zumba class
-feeling sick and nauseus
-being unaware
-zoning out in class
-not being chipper and uber-friendly
-this week's newspaper articles being submitted 2 days late
-requiring food
-not having time for people I love
-loads of homework
-eating nachos
-skipping yoga class
-not being incredibly productive

Yup, all of these things? Not failure. Not even close. Your black and white extremes are not helping anyone. In fact, they are mostly harming you my dear. Give it up. Surrender your lack of control of the universe and all it contains. Perfection kills. You've seen it once and you'll see it again. Perfection killed Jenny. You are not Jenny.
Anne Lamott says, "Not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the other person to die." Well, if you're not forgiving yourself, where does that put you?
Take deep breaths. Take ownership of your life, as it is, right now, with all it's dysfunction and idiosyncrasies Take a break. Take heart, child. You're doing okay.



Michael said...

I don't always have deep this to say in response to your posts, but I want you to know that I enjoy your posts and find them encouraging.

Have a great weekend!

Hannah said...

That Ann Lamott quote is one of my all-time favorites.