Sunday, September 27, 2009

Hey Loser

Hey Loser,
Just couldn't help yourself, could you? It all started with the peanut butter. Shouldn't have gone there. You know the grams of fat of every food as well as you know your own phone number. You know calories like you know your ABCs. Shouldn't have gone there. And three bowls of cereal? That's not even necessary. You are a ridiculous slob.
Why are you like this? Why are you so pathetic? It hurts to even watch you tormenting yourself, falling hard, again, but I will. I will watch you, then I'll laugh hard, like I'm laughing now. Ha.
You'd think after 3 years you'd be over this whole "eating disorder" thing. I mean, what is that anyway? You are just ridiculous when it comes to food. You are irrational and anxious. You think about it, you restrict it, you binge, you purge, you over-exercise. Everyone does that. You are not special. You are not different. This is life, suck it up and move on. This is life for you.
Yeah you'd better hit the reset button. You'd better wake up and go running on a Sunday. It's not the "running on a Sunday" it's that fact that you are doing so out of guilt and obligation. So run girl. You seem so convinced you don't want to throw up and you told Jeremy last night that you wouldn't. You don't have to keep making these dumb promises to people. No one would ever know if you weren't so dang public about your life. Think about it.
You deserve this. You slipped again. Notice a trend. This is life for you. Get comfortable. Recovery is myth people tell to give themselves hope. But there is no hope. You are hopeless.



Michael said...

Lies should be added to your spam list :)

Michael Beans said...

I've seen who you really are and that certainly is not it. Don't let it win.

"Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be"- Don Quixote