Saturday, October 31, 2009


Sometimes I say things I don't mean.
Other times I mean things I don't say.
I love the people in my life who accept me in spite of that.

Last week my sister said, "I'm approaching this cautiously, but would you like to do anything for your birthday?"

Somewhat confused, but trying to understand, I said, "Umm...maybe. I don't know."

She went on to say, "I know birthdays are not your favorite, but I thought I'd start warning you early, it's coming and you can celebrate it however you want to."

Apparently, last year I was a little angry about my birthday.
Apparently, last year I was whining about how people should buy people flowers on other days of the year, not just their birthdays. Little did I know that flowers, from my loving sister, were waiting for me in my room.
Gladly, she forgave me.
Gladly, time changes things.
Thank God.

I could be completely, horribly embarrassed about the ridiculous things I've said or believed. I could apologize for the rest of my life about everything I will probably do wrong. I appreciate and love the people in my life who are willing to say, "Yeah, sometimes you are ridiculous" or "That might not have been your smartest move." I want to always be willing to listen to the people who love me enough to say what no one else is brave enough to say, usually things like, "You could do better."

I don't feel attacked by her. She's good at putting things nicely so I don't feel like a complete idiot. I think she has learned how to deal with me though. I don't mean for this to be some sort of lost art or highly difficult skill, she's just had life-long experience, like 21 years and 360 days.

Bless her.

Alas, I'm turning 22 on November 4th. I went back and read my blogs around that time: whoa. Things change and I'm grateful. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't so dang public about it. But then, we'd all think we were the only crazy ones!

I do not have to hate birthdays. It is another day of the year. I'm not fond of all the attention, and I'd be the last one to throw a party, but honestly, the day won't kill me. I will get through this.

Birthdays can be a good time to reflect.
Birthdays can be a good time to say, "Oh yes I can, it's my birthday!"
Birthdays can be a good reminder for me, to let people know, on today and the other 364 days, how much I appreciate them.


Carley Brown said...

My birthday is exactly a month after yours, I'm turning 23 on December 4th.

I hope the attention you do receive makes you feel extremely loved, as it should.

Hannah said...

"I could be completely, horribly embarrassed about the ridiculous things I've said or believed."

I'm so glad you shared you that. I started typing a response that explained why--but it soon became a mini-blog of itself, not a comment.

(and I'm very happy you exist. After reading this blogpost, I figured I should let you know that now instead of wait for your birthday) :-)