Saturday, November 28, 2009


I rarely blog about my boyfriend, Jeremy. I realized recently that I've not done so because part of me feels guilty for how happy he makes me. Maybe that's my own jealous memories of watching happy couples together that has kept me from talking openly about our relationship. I've been the third wheel for most of my life. I know that feeling. Also, some things just don't need to be blogged. But mostly, we have something good and gosh darnit I want to tell people about it.

Jeremy and I met at Union. I didn't care much for him at all. We didn't interact much. He went to Venezuela second semester and the next year I went to Cambodia. I didn't think about him at all until an email appeared in my inbox part way into my Cambodian experience. As I tell him, at that point, I was desperate for interaction, so I replied. His email mostly said, "Hey, how's Cambodia?" And by now we know how I would've answered that question. I needed a friend. We emailed back and forth throughout the year. Toward the end he said, "We should hang out when you're back at Union." To which I thought, "Yeah right." But he meant it.

When I returned to Union, confused and overwhelmed by what just happened, Jeremy became my friend. It was refreshing to start a relationship knowing each other's dirt. We had talked and he'd read my blog. He knew of my doubts, my eating disorder, everything. When I needed to talk he would listen and say, "I'm sorry. How can I help?" While he could have said, "I don't get it. This is so simple. I'm not sure what the big deal is. Just stop thinking about it." He didn't say that. I wanted to learn more.

His friends adopted me and it was nice to have friends around. More than just nice company though, something intrigued me about this guy. He contradicted much of what I held to be true about myself, about life.

I liked plans, he liked lack-of-plans.
I strove for perfection, he strove for balance.
I was critical and unforgiving of myself, he was accepting and kind.
I wanted to be on-time, he didn't mind being late.
I wanted A's that make the grade, he was okay with C's that get degrees.
I wanted to get up at 5am and work-out, he wanted to sleep in until 9am.
I wanted to eat salads and tofu, he wanted to eat Totino's pizzas and donuts.

I tend to be one extreme, he tends to be the other, but in the end, we balance each other out well.

I help him get work done, he helps me take breaks.
I help him consider other people, he helps me take care of myself.
I encourage him to make a list once in awhile, he encourages me to burn a couple of mine.

We're good for each other.

We started dating right after he graduated from Union with IRR when he left for Southern to get his masters in outdoor education. We've been dating for almost a year now and 80% of that has been long distance. I suppose there are worse times to date someone long distance with cell phones, email, text messages, and Skype, but still, I complain. It's hard. It's not ideal. But he is completely and totally worth it.

In all these differences, we find common ground. We want to help people. We want to travel. We want to live on purpose. We want to have fun. We want to learn. We want to learn to love better. We want to live simple lives. We'd be okay without TV's, cell phones, and the chaos of the city. We want to be intentional. We want to be honest. We want to live well.

He makes me feel beautiful.
He listens.
He hears me.
He doesn't freak out over "girl issues."
He prays.
He welcomes.
He calms my anxious fears.

This is what those love songs are about.
This is what people are talking about.


Michael said...

That's a great story! I don't know him that well but it's apparent you're an exceptional match!

Ashley said...

I love you two!