Saturday, January 16, 2010


On Sunday, I had homework to do, as any college student does every Sunday. But my friend Tiffany was flying in from Argentina and asked me to pick her up at the airport. I was picking her up at noon, then I vowed I would go straight to the Mill coffee shop where I'd get down to business.

On my way to the airport, I called Jeremy, my mom, and my best friend, Rachael. Don't worry these calls were compliments of the bluetooth ear piece my dad insisted I wear after watching me drive and talk on the phone, one of those things I wish I didn't do, but don't seem to stop doing. So, the roads weren't icy and I used my ear piece to call some truly wonderful people.

I talked to Jeremy for awhile. We talked about dreams for the future and when we can be together this summer. When I called my mom I could hear the happinness in her voice. We talk about most everything. Our family is learning to communicate better every day and it's thrilling, yes thrilling, to watch. I like that. She asked, "How has ED (eating disorder) been this week?" Sometimes those brutally honest questions are the hardest ones to ask, but the ones we need to talk about most desperately. She knows this. So we talk.

Rachael sounded happy too. We've known each other since 7th grade. Last summer she went to Loma Linda to continue her pursuit of being a wonderful, gifted, brilliant human being. She's quite good at that. She moved to California, started medical school for physical therapy. She loves her classes and feels confident that this is exactly where she's supposed to be.

"That's awesome Rach," I told her. "Not a lot of people can say that about what they're doing. I'm happy for you. I'm not sure I feel that way about teaching."

"Well, I felt differently when I was at Union. But now that I'm getting into what I'll actually be doing, I love it!" She assured me. "Give it some time. Don't give up."

We build each other up well. We're learning how to be better friends the longer we know each other. We're learning to be better people.

I arrived at the airport and hugged my excited friend, Tiffany. Her love for her boyfriend, Diego, beckons her back and forth between Argentina and the U.S. She's a strong girl. The situation is not ideal, but she's hanging in there. We talked non-stop the entire drive back to Lincoln.

I took her to the dorm and went to start on homework at the Mill. I bumped into my friend, Michael. We work together for the school newspaper. Ha, I guess he's my boss, but it sure doesn't feel like it. We talk about what's really going on in our lives. It's terrifying yet wonderful to have trust that the other person won't go stomping on your heart. I feel this with Michael.

Later, Alicia showed up for some company. I accomplished about 1/10 of the homework I needed to in my time at the Mill. I went to a friend's house for a going away party for some friends. I chatted with good people and gained strength in who I am and what I'm doing.

I called Jeremy as I was crawling into bed.

He asked, "How was your day?"

Laying in the dark, recalling the events of the day, I told him, "It was good. I didn't get much done, but it was good."

I told him about what I did do that day, the people I spent time with, the conversations we had.

"Hmm," he said, "that sounds productive to me."

This boy is good for me.

I probably type: "define . . ." into Google more often that anything else. I like knowing the meaning of the words I'm saying. I'm kinda nerdy that way.

-producing or capable of producing (especially abundantly)

-generative: having the ability to produce or originate

-yielding positive results

I think the last one is my favorite. Was I productive on Sunday? Yes, yes, I was. I yielded positive results.

I yielded warm, soul-nurturing results.
I yielded strengthened friendships.
I yielded the inside-out warming only attainable by drinking chai lattes.
I yielded confidence and assurance in myself.
I yielded better understanding of people I love.
I yielded greater respect for people I have a lot left to learn from.

I did not yield much homework.
I did not yield many pages read in a textbook.
I did not yield book reports or assignments.

But I yielded greater joy, something that always seems to get pushed to the bottom of my priority list, which seems to go something like this:
#1. ME
#2. school
#3. work
#4. worrying about things I cannot control
#5. perfection
#6. friends
#7. family
#8. spirituality
#9. joy

Yeah, joy ranks pretty low. I wish I was one of those people who relaxes easily, takes life in stride. Some people are so consistant and level, not easily thrown by circumstance. I envy them.

For fear of the New Year's resolution stigma, I have a few goals for this semester:

-must take a sabbath

-I need to learn to eat with people. Must get over fear of food + people

-I will eat food I actually enjoy

-will make time for people, not only when it's convenient

-will operate at B level performance, because frankly, it won't kill me to chill out

Essentially, I will continue learning that life-long lesson of balance and acceptance. Because yielding greater joy, peace, and balance counts as productivity too.