Monday, August 8, 2011

Charlie Sheen

Airports are fascinating places.

I've spent more time than usual frequenting them this summer.
From Colorado to Pennsylvania.
Pennsylvania to home.
From Colorado to Tennessee.
Tennessee to California.
California to Tennessee.
Tennessee to Canada.
Canada to Tennessee.
Tennessee to Colorado.

Airports are interesting melting pots as I believe are gas stations and grocery stores. They are remarkable places to watch people.

Airports attract all kinds: rich, middle-class, men, women, old, young, business people, blue-collar workers, priests, celebrities, authors, musicians, heterosexuals, homosexuals, Jews, Muslims, Asians, Blacks, Caucasians, single parents, cancer survivors, veterans, Republicans, Democrats. All kinds.

A few months ago, I met a guy on a flight (no more than 20, though I hoped 15) who was wearing an over sized black t-shirt that looked like this:

I asked him, "I can't tell is your shirt mocking or applauding Charlie Sheen?"

He responded excitedly, "Oh Charlie? He's awesome! I went to one of his shows. Hilarious!"

"So that's why you like him, because he's funny?"

"Uhh...yeah," he replied matter-of-factly.

"And irresponsible?" I added.

A voice from one row behind chimed in, "He's refreshingly honest."

The teenager jumped back in, "Yeah. He's honest. He's living every man's dream."

"Really," I contended. "And what is every man's dream?"

Without hesitation, "Drinking, partying, and women."

"I really don't think that is every man's dream."

The boy: "Well, of course you don't. You're a woman."

Now, I don't know very much about Charlie Sheen, but he's not someone I think I'd be best friends with. All I've heard in the last 6 months is that he's an abusive grease ball who employs porn stars for sex, drinks excessively, and does cocaine whether his young toddler-aged sons are home or not.

As the man one row back proclaimed, "He's refreshingly honest." I think it's possible to be "refreshingly honest" without all the other stuff. In fact, I hope I am.

Another thing struck me about this conversation: the men admired his confidence.

I don't often meet people with an over-confidence problem. In fact, most of the people I know (myself included) seem to have a self-hatred problem. We all probably interact with people who fake confidence and try desperately to prove to themselves and others that they are good enough, but at the core, a lot of us struggle to see our own worth.

Have you seen this?

Because I am not Charlie Sheen, I need this. We all kinda do.

Most days in my journal, I make lists such as this.

I am allowed to be human.
I am a strong, confident, intelligent, beautiful woman.
I am everything I need to be.
I can take deep breaths.
I can choose to accept myself.
I can forgive myself.
I can let go.
I can choose to seek peace and joy.
I can make choices that direct my life.
I can be unsure about the future.
I can be imperfect.
I can change.
I can make mistakes.
I can listen and learn and observe.
I can be proud of myself.
I can fight.
I can be.

Try it.