Thursday, January 19, 2012


As of late, there are simultaneously about 43 items bouncing around in my head. I tend to lean toward a Type A, high-stress, orderly, planned-out, organized existence (which I'm sure to you phlegmatics out there, sounds like hell. And it is sometimes.). This can't be healthy. This will be my mantra:

I had breakfast with a friend this week.
Her suggestion? Be a bridezilla.
Her rationale? You only get to do it once.

Now, I probably won't be taking the bridezilla route as I value my relationships too much, but I will be remembering her other piece of advice: I only get to do this once. I will only ever plan one wedding. One time. This moment is my life.

This moment with 43 items bouncing around.
This moment with a list of to-dos that can no longer fit on one piece of paper.
This moment with self-doubt.
This moment with a headache.
This moment on a chilly afternoon in January that I will only live once.
This moment graduated from college and jobless.
This moment engaged and planning a wedding.
This moment figuring out life one day at a time (no faster).
This moment.


MMM said...

I know you don't know me but you do know my husband, Joe Okimi. He shared your book with me awhile back and I have since stalked your blog on occasion finding your honesty and willingness to address "hard" topics refreshing. If I may, I'd like to offer some perspective as you experience this rather challenging moment in your life. You are spot on in wishing to focus on each moment to do something you've never done or experienced before. I would challenge you, however, to not get too caught up in side bits - the flowers, the colors, the cake, the hair, the make-up, the dress (good heavens THE dress)- as beautiful and moment-y as they seem. DO be excited and dreamy - but grounded. It is VERY easy to buy into the expectations of society(and yourself) that this is THE moment of your life, "your day," "the happiest day of your life," etc. Its not. And it shouldn't be. No dress, hair, or make-up is going to make you beautiful - you already are and the person at the end of the aisle (or in the circle, walking beside you, etc) knows that more than you do. He will likely only remember that you were there and the only thing he wanted at that moment. Most guests won't remember what you served - only if it was good or bad. Nobody will long remember what flowers you had or what the invitation looked like. When everything is over, you will likely not even remember much of the actual day or even have gotten a bite of the cake (or pie) you struggled to choose.
This is not to belittle weddings at all. It IS a life changing moment wherein you are making a vow, a life binding covenant if you will, to another person and they to you. You are celebrating that moment with family, friends, and relatives. Everything else is so much fluff. Pretty but not substantial. As you plan, and stress, and struggle (it will happen :P), I would advise you to do keep a few things in mind. 1. Keep focused on what is important to you and your fiance. 2. The day of the wedding, make the effort to have some time just to yourselves to step back and let what you two are doing sink in. Say the words you need to say to each other and no one else. Enjoy your first moments of marriage. Guard them. With all the madness that can surround a wedding, those moments are often stolen. 3.You are and will be surrounded by amazing people. Hold on to them. And thank they profusely when you go batty!

Congratulations and blessings!

Malisa McCown