Thursday, January 12, 2012

Good

Whew!

Finished student teaching.
Got engaged.
Drove to Colorado.
Flew to Delaware to be with Jeremy's family.
Flew to Colorado to be with my family.
Drove back to Nebraska.
Began wedding planning.
Celebrated with friends.
Checked out wedding venues.
Catching my breath.
Seeking calm.

Life post-college has been quite a ride thus far. I feel like only now is it settling in and becoming real. I'm sitting at The Mill catching up with college friends who are just starting second semester and looking forward to their own graduations some day. It's been nice/weird/relaxing/energizing/liberating/scary to wake up each day and not have an appointment, a class, or a job to scurry off to. The freedom is nice. And new. Making my own schedule, which feels like the first time ever, is enjoyable and nourishing. The lack of structure makes me a little anxious. So I'm working on it. One day at a time. And it's good. Just different.

I just realized this very moment that I no longer receive Union College e-mails. Every day my inbox is actually manageable (well, beside all the Pinterest e-mails: my latest addiction). For the last five years I've gotten Good Morning Union e-mails from Pastor Rich and reminders about school fees, cafeteria hours, and upcoming band concerts, most of it irrelevant to me, yet, now I kinda miss them. Not because I want the stuff in my inbox, but because it's strange to suddenly feel cut-off from college. Many of my friends have graduated. I didn't really spend much time there last semester. I don't know or recognize very many people on campus. So very quickly, I'm just gone. An adult (I suppose). And it's good. Just different.

And now I'm planning a wedding, which I thought would be so much a fun. A dream. A time to just plan a big party. Well, that's half-true. It's neat and exciting, but the amount of work and planning and phone calls and organizing is...wow. Ya know, it's good. Just different.

"Good. Just different," could probably be my mantra for the next year. Adjustments. Changes. In the past, change has been hard for me. Even paralyzing. But that was then and this is now. I don't have to be what I've been. And today, on Friday afternoon, I'm feeling confident that that's true. And that's enough for me.

2 comments:

Sarah said...

Wow! It has been so long since I've caught up on you blog. Congrats on graduating and getting engaged! Two very awesome things!

Kylie said...

Recently, I've been reminding myself over and over that different doesn't mean bad. Maybe we can remind each other from time to time. And, let it be said that I'm so grateful we get to figure out this whole "post college" experience together. I hear there is a list of things to be done, no?