Monday, February 20, 2012

Subbing

With 8 minutes until the end of the lunch period and two more classes to teach, I write for my sanity (and my student's safety...).

Today I am subbing at a middle school.
I'm not a fan.
I got the call while I was dreaming at 7am this morning.
I was supposed to be at school by 7:45am.
I got here at 7:53am.
The students were waiting.
Class started at eight.
I scrambled for notes, papers, books, attendance sheets.
I wore a metal head band. Bad idea. Big headache.
I wasn't given thorough lesson plans.
I didn't know the behavior management procedures.
It's been rough.
Two students refused to leave the room when I sent them to "time-out."
I wanted to reason with them.
I wanted to cry.
I had to call an administrator to handle them.
A passing teacher just told me that the next period will be the worse.
Worse?

So here I sit in an empty room for five more minutes.
Listening to the Weepies.
Taking deep breaths.
Toughening up.
Getting ready for the students who will likely need to be sent out of the room.
Last weeks sub made numerous notes and remarks about this upcoming class.
Teaching is no fun when it's all discipline.
Learning is no fun when it's all discipline, too.

So...good thoughts. True thoughts. Moving forward.

I am a good person.
I am a human being.
They are just kids.
I was once a kid too.
I can take deep breaths.
I can smile.
I can be firm.
I can be kind.
I can handle whatever they throw at me (literally, or figuratively).
I am a strong, confident, intelligent, beautiful woman.
I am worthy of love and belonging.

Two more hours and I'll be outta here.
And I never have to come back.
Muah ha ha.

The bell just rang.
Go!

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