Monday, April 2, 2012

Dear Child,

It's been awhile since I've written. It's been awhile since I've needed to. But I knew as soon as you woke up this morning, it was just going to be one of those days.

One of those days when you wake up feeling drowsy and it's difficult to keep your eyes open.
One of those days when the sun is shining, yet the horizon looks gloomy.
One of those days when you feel like a child, unsure about the future, and unwilling to step forward.
One of those days when you look in the mirror and don't recognize your own reflection. Or don't want to.
One of those days when the list is too long and the time is too short.
One of those days when you realize life is slipping through your fingers and you can only think about the twenty-four years you've "wasted," instead of the seventy-six years ahead of you.
One of those days when you forget your name and need reminding.
You forget your value.
You forget your worth.
And what began as a ho-hum morning turns into a bleak outlook on just about everything.

I know you want to sulk.
I know you want to eat to solve your problems.
I know you want to whine and commiserate.
I know you want to sleep and awake on the other side of this day.

And you can. You're a big girl. You can make your own decisions. And choosing anything else is just about the hardest thing to do on a day like this.

But here's my two-cents:
Take a deep breath.
Sit still.
Be nice to yourself.
Drink some water.
Go teach that Zumba class.
Go get that wedding dress altered.
Eat supper.
Go to bed.

Yes, that's right: just show up. Nothing flashy. Nothing valiant. Just move forward.

I believe in you.
You can believe in you too.



Anonymous said...

I have read this like 7 times the past two days. And cried... a lot. It's scary how much I relate to this. Ugh, why is everything so freakin' hard?! I guess it's comforting in a way to know that I am not the only one who is struggling. Good for you for being strong enough to at least "show up" that really is a big deal. I wish I could be that strong.