Saturday, July 14, 2012

Two Month Anniversary

Jeremy and I are still settling into married life at camp (which is different than married life anywhere else. Trust me). I'm pleased to say that in the last month we've been able to find more routine, more opportunities to see each other, and more laughter in general. You'd think that working at a summer camp would be a no-brainer for fun and excitement, but remarkably, the days and weeks can be equally mundane if you let them. We both spend a lot of time working in the office, missing meals, and watching the same dramas play out every week. This is why to celebrate our two month anniversary, I planned a surprise flash mob for him at lunch in the cafeteria (I'm waiting on the video from a friend, but when I get it, I'll post it). Jeremy was surprised and had fun with it, I think.
Anniversary Flash Mob from Heather Bohlender on Vimeo.

One thing that I'm very glad for our the five questions we ask each other every week. We've been extra intentional about making sure we get these in every Saturday. The suggestion came from a blog called Today's Letters:
#1. How did you feel loved this past week?
#2. What does your upcoming week look like?
#3. How would you feel most loved and encouraged in the days ahead?
#4. How would you feel best pursued in sex/intimacy this week?
#5. How can I pray for you this week?

It's like a weekly check-in, a regular "How are we doing?", a way to be intentional about our needs. It's a good thing for us to set aside that time for reflection. Because as we've told numerous teen camper cabins at worship, real relationships look nothing like Hollywood. He doesn't know all the right things to say. She can't read his mind. He farts. She misses hints. Unlike the movies, relationships take work. Yes, this was a revelation to the timid teen camper who asked, "Why are relationships so hard?" Well, because relationships involve human beings: fickle, emotional, raw, and unpredictable.

Sometimes you have to ask (quite specifically) for what you need.
Sometimes you have to go to bed alone.
Sometimes he embarrasses you.
Sometimes you feel like a bad wife.
Sometimes the stars do not align and you spend 50 minutes dancing in circles around one easily-solved predicament.

But questions are good. So is honesty. And humility. Surprises are nice. And back rubs. And slowing down to look up at a sky splashed with stars.

Next week, babe: You. Me. Sleeping under the moon-lit night.

Until next month.