Saturday, December 1, 2012

Today, I Thought of Death

Today, I thought of death.
And life.
And what it all means.

How we live and breathe.
We work and procreate.
We earn money and spend money.
And then we die.
Sometimes, not in that order.
But backwards.
Or too soon.
Or too late.
But in the end we die.

And others die.
And death is hard.
And confusing.
And uncomfortable.
And unresolved.
Especially for those left behind.
We never said enough.
Or we said too much.
We never appreciated what was there until it was gone.
And then it was gone.

And what do we do?
We live and breathe.
We work and procreate.
(You get the idea).
Essentially, we move on.

I'm not sure what to feel about this.
About the moving on.
About how best to honor.
About how best to remember.
Without forgetting.

So, I'll just think about him.
I'll remember what I learned.
And how I was changed.
And how his presence made me better.

And I'll think about others.
I'll look around at what I'm learning.
And how I am changing.
And how their presence makes me better.

Because if we only mourn death
without celebrating life,
than what's the point in living at all?

If we only appreciate what was once it's gone,
If we only dwell in the good once it's past,
If we only learn to feel in the end,
Than we're missing out on this moment right now.

And this moment brings breath.
And this moment brings warmth.
And in this moment my parents are healthy
My husband is wonderful
My friends surround me
And I have much good to be dwelling in.

Today, I thought of death.
And life.
And I have no idea what it all means.


Kylie said...

Mmm, this is good, friend. I've been thinking about death this week, too.

It feels like one of those gray areas of life we'll never fully understand. I think you're right about finding some balance by sinking into the moment, while still taking time to consider the people who are gone and how they are still pulsing in who we are and how we see the world.