Sunday, February 10, 2013

Somewhere

Somewhere there is a girl who moved around the world and feels alone.

Somewhere there is a woman who recently fell and broke her pelvis.

Somewhere there is a man begging to be set free of living.

Somewhere there is a girl who was robbed and cut with his knife.

Somewhere there is a girl aching to be seen fully, but terrified to be gay.

Somewhere there is a man feeling despondent that his life's work has meant nothing.

Somewhere there is a woman existing in a marriage she hates.

Somewhere there is a woman mourning the loss of her sister.

Somewhere there is a girl fielding racist comments about her own people. And smiling.

Somewhere there is a man doing his best, while the whole world watches and laughs.


"Somewhere" is everywhere. These are people I know. And people for whom I have no answers. These are people for whom my heart aches. And my soul wants to scream "Why?"

But I know why. These things happens because the world is a spinning orb of billions of people trying to find their way who are not immune to life's troubles. There isn't always a reason. There isn't always a silver lining.

Shit happens.
Crumb.

But what I've learned is that there doesn't always have to be reason. Some things are just awful. And they hurt. And no amount of words or Bible texts or prayers or Hallmark cards are going to make this feel better or less excruciating. So we just sit with the feeling. Because that's all we can do.

This reminds me of what The Onion wrote immediately following the Sandy Hook shooting almost two months ago. The article said almost nothing except that the shooting happened and people at the scene said, "What the..." and "How does this hap..." and "Oh my, oh God." Which is sometimes all you can say. And maybe that's enough.

Because these moments of grief and pain are not meant to be anything else.
Peace will probably come.
Hope too.
Maybe even healing.
But not right now.
No, right now, this just hurts.
And that's okay.










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