Friday, February 15, 2013

Stepping on a Nail

I remember there was a time a few years ago when I dreaded answering my cell phone. For some reason, whenever it rang, I held my breath, I waited for the bad news, I anticipated the worst. I would look at the caller ID for a few extra moments wondering what awful information that person was about to give me. That was a different time, and yet, I've been doing it again lately.

Two thousand thirteen has been a bumpy year.
My dear friend moved across a few oceans.
Mom fell and broke her pelvis.
Nana died.
My brother broke his arm and had to have twelve screws drilled into his bones.
Jeremy's aunt died unexpectedly and he flew to the East coast to be there for the funeral.

And this morning, a text from my Dad at 5:45am: "Call me."

Well, what if I don't want to? What if I can't handle any more bad news?

I waited.
I imagined what it could be. (Which, by the way, is an awful thing to do)
I brushed my teeth.
I got a drink of water.
And then, he beat me to it and called.
"Mom was rushed to the hospital last night in am ambulance, they don't know what's wrong. Exploratory surgery. We'll tell you more when we know more."

It makes we want to turn off my cell phone, because that would mean I wouldn't have to hear the news. I could hide from what is. Because when my Dad, one of the strongest and most sincere men I will ever know, calls me with bad news, I can sense it immediately in his voice. It's like he's talking to me while simultaneously stepping on a nail in his bare feet. With a smile. He winces. He sounds pained. He holds it together with incredible courage, but there's no getting around it, he's telling us news that should never have to be given over the phone.

More bad news.

I suppose this is just how the seasons go. And this is our season.

2 comments:

Carley Brown said...

The song was incredible!

Heather it's always great to catch up on your blog, even though we barely know each other in real life. I'm always inspired and touched by what you write and when my eyes leave the words on the page my heart feels changed. I hope the rumble strip turns to smooth road soon, and that your mom will be okay. Lately, I've received news of other people's bad news...two babies have passed away to two couples I know, back to back, one on Jan one in Feb, dying hours after birth, and a dear family friend of mine from Colorado just passed away as well. Makes my heart hurt. Life is so fragile.

I love reading about all your learning about life, and marriage, and your job etc. I appreciate your approach to life and the insights you care to share. Thank you for the blessing that you are. I'll keep your family in my prayers.

Anthony said...

I hear you. I'm praying for you and your family today.