Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Autumn Blues

Apparently, today is Halloween.
I forgot until I wrote the date in my journal this morning: October 31, 2013.
Oh yeah.

I'm not a great fan of Halloween.
I can't remember the last time I dressed up.
But suddenly, I want to.
Where are all the freaking pumpkins?
I'm missing it probably because I can't have it.

My birthday is on Monday. Twenty-six years on planet earth.

My Facebook and Pinterest pages have exploded with people in America posting artifacts of fall:
Sun-burnt leaves
Pumpkin spice lattes

This morning, I listened to a message from my Mom filling me in on how our family will be spending the holidays:
Thanksgiving in Colorado.
Christmas in Nebraska.
And us in Korea.

Where we chose to move.
This is a decision we made.

But these are the types of emotions you can't predict until the moment they hit you.
The moment they become real.

"We live in Korea."

Oh, shoot.

When I'm tempted to be bitter (ya know, that people will be celebrating holidays and stuff. . .), I know it's time to be grateful:

For Jeremy.
For this experience.
For the opportunity to even have this experience.
For privileges I enjoy simply because I was born white and American.
For my health.
For a job where I earn an income.
For money in the bank.
For a cozy place to sleep at night.
For family and friends who support me.

In all honestly, I can even be grateful for this crummy feeling of missing people I love,
because some folks don't have people to miss.

'Tis the season to be grateful.