Sunday, May 11, 2014

Grown-Up

Sometimes, I wake up in the morning and the first thought in my head is: Whoa, we're all alone over here. Like I suddenly remember how far I am from home.
Like it instantly hits me that I am really twenty-six.
I am really married.
And we are really living in Korea.

Whoa.

And I like living in Korea and we are quite happy over here. And yet, sometimes my own lack of confidence gets the best of me and I start wondering why the police haven't put us on a plane yet. As if we're just juvenile runaways. We aren't adult-enough to be doing this. As if someone will realize we are just as childish as we feel.

The latest Oprah magazine asked people, "When did you know you had truly grown-up?"

"...at age 27, I had to fight for custody of my autistic teenage brother."

"...when I gave my retirement notice."

"When I could accept my parents as imperfect people and love them anyway."


What is a grown-up anyway?




Lately, I've been reading a book series called, Wildwood. It's this wonderful tale about a young girl, named Prue who finds herself wrapped up in a hidden world that desperately needs her help. And at one point in the story, an orphaned daughter says this about her parents:

"She'd been so accustomed, in her former life, before her parent's abandonment, to sitting back and letting the adults handle the big decisions. But things had changed. She was now a parent to herself, her own mother and father, the adult world now appeared to her less fortified than it had seemed prior to her life as an Unadoptable. She now saw adults as incredibly fallible people, just like children.Their adulthood did not necessarily save them from constantly making bad decisions--in fact, she speculated, they were more likely to make bad decisions."


I feel that.
I get that.
Being a grown-up does not make us fortified against life's struggles.
Damnit.

But onward, anyway.

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