Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Dear Body

Dear Body,

It's been awhile since we've spoken. Talked. Interacted in any meaningful way. Yeah, about ten months since I last acknowledged you: my body. That thing that carries me through the world and that thing that protects my heart and my soul.


I'm sorry because I haven't been very appreciative lately. More abusive actually. Demanding your transportation from one side of the world to the other (and then back again). Withholding sleep. Expecting sprints out of legs that normally jog. Asking six miles out of a body that usually gives me three. Sheesh. Thanks for that.

No, really. Thanks.

I know you are hurt by the verbal assaults from me and from others. It hurts like a punch. It wounds like a stab. Why did she have to make it about competition? Why did they think my body was open to their critiques? Why did he say that unnecessary thing? As if we would care. As if those words could hurt us.

As if.

But they do hurt. I know, you never signed up for this. You never promised perfection. You agreed to do your best at maintenance, not elegance. You're a machine. A function. A vehicle that works to stay alive. Not just a thing to be seen, to be criticized, to be judged. You'd think pumping blood and oxygen through my body would be worth something. That digesting food and bringing air into my lungs would matter, would get some recognition. But it seems that all they want is a thigh gap and all we have is a perfectly functioning brain.


And I wish I could protect you from it all, but I can't. I'm pulled in by the critiques. I'm vulnerable to the opinions of the crowd and for that I am so sorry. I'm such a sucker. I don't deserve you. You keep on keepin' on even when you're completely ignored.


I can get more sleep.
I can eat more vegetables.
I can take deep breaths.
I can avoid toxic relationships.
I can protect you from the onslaught of insignificant opinions of others.
I can teach my critical eye to be a gentle gaze.
I can trust that you know what you're doing.
I can be grateful for all that you do.
I can appreciate what I have.
I can be content.
I can be.



KendraKay at said...

This is my biggest current struggle. My immaturity in this area makes me impatient and crazy!! When will I trade in these lies?

Mariela Laura said...

I absolutely love this. Thanks so much Heather. I needed this now more than I ever have.