Friday, December 12, 2014

Shirley and Moe

Marriage is a really beautiful thing.
It's also a really agonizing thing.

Shirley says of her late husband, Moe: "It was always nice to have his arms around me."

I can't watch it without crying.
Without wanting to just snuggle up to Jeremy
and scream about all the injustice of this thing called "dying".

But it's beautiful too.
To think about the love we share and spread and how it makes us better.

Recently, an acquaintance in our part of the world asked, "Well, you two. What makes for a good marriage?"

It seemed such a large question for such a simple occasion, We both sort of took a deep breath and immediately unqualified to respond at all.

What do we know about marriage in only two years?
What do we have to say about this beautiful thing without dirtying up the edges with our fingers? What do we know?

Apparently, a lot.

Because we sat and talked for quite awhile about how marriage is beautiful and agonizing. Sometimes on the same day.
How it breaks you, but also builds you.
How it strengthens and melts your heart.
How it makes you consider if your reaction to "this person" is really about them or if it's really about you.
How it gives you a partner in life and there are few things better than a lazy, Saturday morning with your best friend.

I don't get a lot of chances to talk about our marriage. Mostly because there's not a lot of people to talk to in general. But I'm always quite proud of what we've built whenever I get the chance.

Like today, a co-worker unloaded about 30 minutes of frustrations with her husband and her marriage. Things like not coming home. Things like broken promises. Things like not being a good father to their kids. And in moments like this, I want to sympathize by adding a list of things my husband sucks at too. But I can't, because that wouldn't be true.

At one point, she looked at me and said, "You really love Jeremy, don't you?"

"I do."

"And the nights grow cold without you
and the world is filled with the anguish of my loneliness
and the stars join me in sorrow
while I long without wearying to hold you once more in my arms
to embrace you and kiss you and love you
all my love"


Kylie said...

Oh, my heart! What a beautiful thing to have been made with hearts that can experience this fullness of loving and being loved completely, and also the total anguish that must come when the person you love most of all is gone.

Death is a bitch. Shirley is a gem!

Ashley Barber said...

This is just gorgeous. You have every reason to be proud of your marriage, of the things you've learned so far. Of course, you'll learn more but that doesn't make these days and these lessons any less important.

Love you both.