Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I'm Done With Korea

Today commemorates the twenty-two months we've lived in Korea.
Today also commemorates the two months we have left over here.

And, to be perfectly honest, I'm so done.

I'm done living here.
I'm done teaching here.
I'm done being a foreigner.
I'm done feeling misunderstood.
I'm done feeling so very far from home.
I'm done Skyping to see my newborn niece that I haven't met yet.

And still--as bitter as I might sound--I love Korea.
I love what it's taught me.
I love how it's changed me.
And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

But I'm still done.

Not because I'm pissed.
Not because I'm upset with any one or any thing.
I'm just ready to be independent.
I'm ready to drive a car.
I'm ready to blend in.
I'm ready to move on to whatever comes next.

And I know that I've felt this way before.
Wrapping up one thing and moving onto the next.
Saying "Goodbye" and saying "Hello" almost simultaneously.
Trying to be here, but you're really there.
Struggling to be present in this moment when you're regularly pulled into the next.

It's an uncomfortable place to be: between moments, changes, countries, and cultures.

Two months left over here yonder.
And then, China.
And Thailand.
And Cambodia. 
And Bali.
And finally home.

But not yet. 
These two months first.


kameroncarter said...

Enjoy while you can cause I'm sure you will miss it. Happy last days